The groom seeing the bride has, for centuries, been the big faux pa of wedding day. It’s been seen as a sign of bad luck or misfortune to the couple. However, as the years progress and we move into a more modern world, this tradition is becoming less and less of an issue for brides. Rather than waiting until the walk down the isle, many brides these days are opting to set aside time before the ceremony to see their groom. Recently I’ve had several brides ask me my opinion on doing a First Look so I thought I’d share that here on my blog.
Though I am one for tradition, I am by no means superstitious. I understand and respect the culture and practice of traditions but to me, not seeing the bride before the wedding is more of a superstition. Though I love Stevie Wonder’s song about it, I’m not superstitious. I don’t think a marriage will unravel and fall apart simply because a groom sees his bride before the ceremony on their wedding day. With all of that said, it will come as no surprise that I’m a big fan of doing a First Look on your wedding day.
The photographer in me loves the idea of a First Look. But rather than speak from that point of view, I feel I can better express my thoughts about a First Look by speaking from the (former) bride in me. On our wedding day, my now husband and I chose to see one another before the ceremony and it was, quite possibly, the best decision we made for our wedding day. We were able to spend about half an hour getting pictures of just the two of us together all dolled up. Without the first look, we may have had 10-12 minutes right before the reception started when the sun was barely peeking over the horizon. As a photographer, that was not what I wanted for my wedding pictures! I wanted lots of time with my husband to be as just the two of us. As brides caught up in the hustle and bustle of our wedding days, we often forget that really, this whole day that we’ve spent months (or years!) planning is about ourselves and our groom. I spent almost 2 years engaged and planning our wedding. I wasn’t about to only spend 10 minutes alone with my husband on that special day.
That time not only allowed for some great pictures, but like I just mentioned, a First Look gives you moment to just be with each other. The rest of the world just kind of melts away and in that moment, it’s just the two of you. I got to look at my fiancee and say “Hi. You look great!” which seems silly to say, but this moment doesn’t happen nearly as much as you’d think. On a typical wedding day, the bride walks down the isle, they have the ceremony, they are immediately whisked away for pictures followed immediately by their announcement into the reception. Then, the rest of the night is spent having a blast with 150 of your closets friends. Now don’t get me wrong, this is fun….so much fun actually…but it really doesn’t leave any time for the two of you. I really appreciated having a moment to be us. To say hi, to hug and kiss him, and to tell him how excited and happy I was.
I think the biggest concern I’ve heard when talking with brides about a First Look is “Well, doesn’t it take away from when you walk down the aisle?” and my answer to that is simple: absolutely not. For me, that moment was overwhelming. When the double doors opened and 138 sets of eyes turned and looked right at me, I was overwhelmed. I took a deep breath, tightly grabbed my dad’s hand, and off we went. Having seen Jeff already, I was able to make that walk down the aisle more about me and my dad. In that moment, surrounded by lots and lots of people, I turned to my dad and smiled knowing this was a big moment not just for me but for him too and it made it that much more special.
I’ve said this multiple times on my blog, but it is most certainly worth mentioning once more: If you’re a bride getting married anytime between October and March, I strongly urge you to consider a first look. Most photographers, and I’m no exception to this, love getting pictures outside in beautiful sunlight of a bride and groom on their special day. If you get married in the aforementioned time frame, unless you’re having a day ceremony, it is nearly impossible to get pictures in the daylight. The sun goes down anywhere between 5:30 and 6:30 (depending on the month) and this is usually the start time of most ceremonies. By the time the ceremony is over, the sun is gone and so is your opportunity for sunlit images.
So if you’re a bride and you’ve been considering a First Look, there’s my thoughts on the whole experience. We were able to get some amazing pictures together and that, to me, was the most important part. The flowers have died, the decorations have all been returned, the cake was eaten, my dress is hanging is our guest room closet, but I still have amaaaazing pictures to remember every single moment of my day.
Here is Samantha and Clint‘s First Look (click their link to see all the goods we got because they saw each other before the ceremony!!)
**EDITED TO ADD**
I just got the best comment on this post from my bride, Samantha (pictured above) and just had to share it. It’s her take on her first look with Clint and because that’s what this post is all about, I thought it appropriate to share it here and not just have it in the comment section!
“I am such a believer of the First Look now. I am so thankful that we did it. Thank you so much for suggesting it for us and capturing such breathtaking images! Our First Look images are some of my favorites and I especially love seeing the one of Clint’s face as he saw me for the first time.
To all Brides and Future Brides,
When I was first planning my wedding I was afraid that the First Look was going to take away from that special moment when I walked down the aisle. Let me tell you, first hand, that it was one of the best decisions I made for my wedding. When I walked down the aisle it was still special and I was still overwhelmed with emotion! What made it even better was that my husband and I had a special moment before the ceremony that allowed us to relax (just a little bit), have a special moment of just the two of us, and capture some amazing pictures. I hold that First Look as a special, special memory from my wedding, and am so thankful that I trusted my wonderful photographer and went with it!
“
Thanks for sharing this Samantha! You said it perfectly!!
This is Diana and Pete at their First Look
And because I talked so much about it, here is me and my husband at our First Look! A huge shout out to Craig at Studio563 for capturing these (and our whole day) for us!
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